Body Image Distress and Negative Self Perception

Body image is about much more than how you look. It is also about how you feel about your body, the thoughts you have about it, and the meaning you attach to your shape, weight and appearance.

For some people, dissatisfaction with their body sits quietly in the background. For others, it can take up a huge amount of mental space and affect confidence, relationships, social situations, clothing, eating and the way they feel about themselves more generally.

You may know logically that other people are not judging your body in the way you are, but still find it very difficult to stop judging yourself.

What body image distress can look like

Everyone experiences body image differently, but you may recognise some of the following:

• Frequently checking your body in mirrors or photographs

• Avoiding mirrors because you do not want to look at yourself

• Comparing your body with other people

• Feeling very aware of how clothes fit

• Changing clothes several times before going out

• Avoiding photographs or social situations because of how you feel about your appearance

• Feeling uncomfortable being seen in swimwear or fitted clothing

• Regularly weighing yourself and allowing the number on the scales to affect your mood

• Feeling that you would be happier, more confident or more acceptable if your body were different

• Focusing on particular parts of your body that you dislike

• Feeling disconnected from your body or treating it as something that needs to be controlled or changed

Sometimes these behaviours become so familiar that you barely notice how much time and energy they are taking.

Why body image can become so important

We do not develop our ideas about bodies in isolation.

Family messages, comments from other people, experiences at school, relationships, social media, advertising and wider cultural expectations can all shape the way we learn to see ourselves.

For some people, one particular comment or experience can stay with them for years. For others, it is the accumulation of many small messages about weight, attractiveness or what a body is supposed to look like.

Body image can also become connected with much bigger ideas about worth.

You may have learned, consciously or unconsciously, that being thinner, smaller, fitter or more attractive means being more successful, lovable or acceptable.

When that happens, dissatisfaction with the body is rarely just about appearance.

Body checking and comparison

When we feel anxious about something, it is natural to check it.

With body image distress, this might mean repeatedly looking in the mirror, checking your stomach or thighs, trying on clothes, weighing yourself, taking photographs or comparing yourself with other people.

Checking can provide temporary reassurance, but it often has the opposite effect over time. The more closely you examine your body, the more likely you are to notice things you dislike.

Comparison can work in a similar way.

You may find yourself automatically scanning other people’s bodies or comparing yourself with images online. Even when you know those comparisons are unfair or unrealistic, they can still have a powerful emotional impact.

Part of the work in therapy can be noticing these patterns and understanding how they affect the way you feel about yourself.

When your body becomes linked to your self worth

For some people, weight and appearance become closely tied to self esteem.

A good day can become a bad day because clothes feel tighter than expected. A photograph can completely change how you feel about an otherwise enjoyable occasion. A number on the scales can determine whether you feel pleased or disappointed with yourself.

This can leave your sense of worth feeling very fragile.

In therapy, we can begin to explore where those beliefs came from and gradually widen the way you see yourself, so that your value is not dependent on the size or shape of your body.

You do not have to love your body

There is a lot of pressure now to feel positive about our bodies, but being told to love your body can sometimes feel like another impossible standard to meet.

The aim of therapy does not have to be body love.

For some people, a much more realistic and helpful goal is body acceptance or body neutrality.

That might mean becoming less preoccupied with appearance, treating your body with greater respect, and allowing it to be something you live in rather than something you are constantly evaluating.

Your body carries you through your life. It does not have to be an ornament or a measure of your worth.

Body image and eating

Body image difficulties can sometimes affect the way you eat.

You may restrict certain foods because you are worried about weight gain, eat differently depending on how you feel about your body that day, or find yourself caught in cycles of dieting and overeating.

For some people, body dissatisfaction forms part of an eating disorder. For others, it exists without a formal diagnosis.

Either way, it can be distressing and limiting.

You do not need to have an eating disorder in order to seek support for body image.

How I work with body image

My approach is integrative, which means we can explore both what is happening for you now and the experiences that may have shaped the way you see yourself.

Depending on what feels relevant, our work might include:

• Understanding where your beliefs about your body came from

• Exploring body checking and comparison

• Looking at the relationship between body image and self esteem

• Understanding the impact of dieting and restriction

• Exploring shame and self criticism

• Noticing the way social media and cultural messages affect you

• Developing a more compassionate way of relating to your body

• Looking at difficult experiences or comments that may still be affecting you

• Reducing the amount of time and mental energy spent thinking about appearance

• Building a sense of identity and worth that is not centred on weight or shape

I draw on person centred therapy, CBT and CBT E informed approaches, transactional analysis, psychodynamic thinking and psychoeducation, while adapting the work to the person in front of me.

I also hold a Master Practitioner qualification in Eating Disorders and Obesity and have specialist training and experience in working with eating difficulties and body image.

You are allowed to want things to feel different

You do not have to hate your body every day for body image to be affecting your life.

Perhaps you are simply tired of thinking about it.

You may be fed up with avoiding photographs, worrying about clothes, comparing yourself with other people or waiting until your body changes before allowing yourself to do certain things.

If the way you feel about your body is affecting your confidence, your eating or the way you live your life, it is worth talking about.

Online counselling for body image

I offer online counselling for adults across the UK.

Therapy can provide a private space to explore your relationship with your body without judgement and to begin developing a way of relating to yourself that feels kinder, more flexible and less dominated by appearance.

If you would like to talk about whether counselling might be helpful, you are welcome to get in touch.