Emotional and compulsive eating
You do not have to be experiencing binge eating disorder for eating to sometimes feel difficult to control.
You may find yourself reaching for food when you are stressed, bored, lonely, tired or upset, or eating almost automatically without really deciding to. Perhaps you graze throughout the evening, repeatedly go back for something else, or feel particularly drawn to certain foods even when you are not physically hungry.
For some people, food becomes closely tied to comfort, reward or relief. It may help briefly, but afterwards there can be guilt, frustration or disappointment, particularly if you are also unhappy with your weight or body.
Emotional and compulsive eating can become an exhausting cycle, even when it does not fit the criteria for an eating disorder.
What emotional or compulsive eating can look like
Everyone’s experience is different, but you may recognise some of the following:
Eating when you are not physically hungry
Turning to food when you feel stressed, anxious, lonely, bored or overwhelmed
Eating as a reward after a difficult day
Grazing or picking at food over a long period
Feeling particularly drawn towards certain foods
Finding it difficult to stop once you have started eating
Eating automatically while watching television, working or scrolling on your phone
Thinking about food even shortly after you have eaten
Feeling that food provides comfort or temporarily changes how you feel
Hiding or minimising how much you have eaten
Feeling guilty or disappointed with yourself afterwards
Promising yourself that tomorrow will be different
Trying to compensate by restricting food or dieting afterwards
Feeling increasingly unhappy with your body as the cycle continues
You may recognise some of these patterns without ever experiencing what you would describe as a binge.
Emotional hunger and physical hunger
One of the things we may explore in therapy is the difference between physical hunger and the urge to eat for other reasons.
Physical hunger usually develops gradually and is the body's way of telling us that it needs nourishment.
Emotional or compulsive urges can sometimes feel much more sudden. You may feel as though only a particular food will do, or notice the urge appearing after an argument, a stressful day, boredom or simply when you finally stop being busy.
This does not mean that emotional eating is somehow wrong. Eating is naturally associated with comfort, pleasure, celebration and connection, and we all sometimes eat for reasons other than physical hunger.
It becomes more difficult when food is one of the main ways you have learned to manage uncomfortable feelings, or when eating regularly leaves you feeling distressed or out of control.
Why food can feel so powerful
Food can do many things besides satisfy hunger.
It can soothe, distract, stimulate and provide pleasure. It can create a brief pause from difficult thoughts or feelings. Certain foods may also be strongly associated with comfort, childhood, reward or being cared for.
If you are tired, stressed or emotionally depleted, reaching for food may be one of the quickest and most familiar ways of feeling better.
In therapy, we can begin to understand what the eating is helping you manage, rather than focusing only on trying to stop the behaviour.
When we understand the function of the eating, it becomes possible to develop more choice around how you respond.
Restriction can make compulsive eating worse
Emotional eating is often closely linked with dieting and restriction.
You may spend part of the day being very controlled around food, avoiding particular foods or trying to eat as little as possible. By the evening, you may be physically hungry, mentally tired of restricting, or both.
Foods that have been labelled “bad” or forbidden can also become much more psychologically powerful.
If you eventually eat one of those foods, it can be easy to think that you have already failed and may as well carry on eating. Afterwards, guilt can lead to another period of restriction, and the whole pattern begins again.
So what looks like a problem of having too little control around food can sometimes be partly maintained by trying to control food too tightly.
Developing a more regular and less restrictive pattern of eating can often be an important part of reducing compulsive urges.
Habit and automatic eating
Not all compulsive eating is driven by strong emotion.
Sometimes eating simply becomes habitual.
You might always reach for something sweet after dinner, eat while watching television, or find yourself in the kitchen without consciously deciding to go there.
Over time, particular places, times of day or activities can become strongly associated with eating.
Part of our work can involve slowing these patterns down enough to notice what is happening. This is not about creating another set of food rules, but about helping you move from automatic behaviour towards greater awareness and choice.
Body image and compulsive eating
Difficulties with eating and body image can easily reinforce one another.
You may eat for comfort, then feel unhappy with your body afterwards. That dissatisfaction may lead you to diet or restrict, which can then increase hunger, preoccupation with food and the likelihood of eating compulsively again.
Over time, this can create a relationship with your body that feels increasingly critical.
Your confidence may begin to depend on your weight, what you have eaten or how you think you look that day.
Therapy can help us explore both sides of this pattern: your relationship with eating and the way you experience your body.
The aim does not have to be loving your body all of the time. Sometimes it is about developing a less critical relationship with it and reducing the amount of influence weight and appearance have over how you feel about yourself.
Food noise
You may also notice that food occupies a surprising amount of your thinking.
What will I eat later?
Should I have that?
I've already eaten too much today.
Why do I keep wanting something else?
I'll start again tomorrow.
This constant mental negotiation can be tiring.
Sometimes reducing the struggle around food — rather than trying to exert even more control — can help quieten some of that noise.
How I work
My approach is integrative, which means that I adapt the therapy according to what is happening for you rather than expecting everyone to fit one particular model.
We can look at the eating itself while also becoming curious about the feelings, experiences and patterns that may sit underneath it.
Depending on your needs, our work might include:
Understanding when and why you feel compelled to eat
Identifying emotional and situational triggers
Exploring your history with dieting and restriction
Developing a more regular and reliable pattern of eating
Becoming more aware of physical hunger and fullness
Reducing guilt and judgement around food
Exploring habits and automatic eating
Understanding the role food plays in soothing or regulating emotions
Developing other ways of responding to difficult feelings
Working with body dissatisfaction and body checking
Exploring perfectionism and self-criticism
Looking at relationships or past experiences that may be contributing
Understanding ADHD or neurodivergence where this may be relevant
Developing a more flexible relationship with food
I draw on person-centred therapy, CBT and CBT-E informed approaches, transactional analysis, psychodynamic thinking and psychoeducation, while always adapting the work to the individual in front of me.
I also hold a Master Practitioner qualification in Eating Disorders and Obesity and have specialist training and experience in working with eating difficulties and body image.
You do not have to have an eating disorder
Emotional or compulsive eating does not automatically mean that you have an eating disorder.
You may be functioning perfectly well in most areas of your life and still feel frustrated by your relationship with eating.
Perhaps you are simply tired of repeatedly trying to control food, feeling guilty when you cannot, and starting again.
You do not need a diagnosis or for things to become more serious before seeking support.
If eating has become a source of stress, guilt or frustration, or you would simply like it to occupy less of your thinking, therapy can provide a place to explore what is happening without judgement.
Online counselling for emotional and compulsive eating
I offer online counselling for adults across the UK.
Working online can provide a private and comfortable space to explore your relationship with eating and body image at your own pace.
If you would like to talk about whether counselling might be helpful, you are welcome to get in touch.